|
|
| (10 intermediate revisions by the same user not shown) |
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| = Missing Stair =
| | #REDIRECT [[Excellent Hacker Fallacy]] |
|
| |
|
| == Routing Around Damage ==
| | {{R from alternative name}} |
| | |
| "The Internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it." - John Gilmore
| |
| | |
| When a network node fails or a connection is censored, packets automatically reroute through working paths. No central authority decides this - it's distributed, automatic, resilient. The network keeps functioning.
| |
| | |
| Community social routing works this way too -- but at a huge cost.
| |
| | |
| == The Missing Stair Metaphor ==
| |
| | |
| Imagine a house with a broken stair. Everyone who lives there knows about it. They've learned to step over it automatically. They warn newcomers: "watch out for that step." But nobody fixes it.
| |
| | |
| '''A missing stair is a person in a community whose harmful behavior is worked around rather than addressed.'''
| |
| | |
| The term originated in a 2012 blog post describing known sexual predators in social communities - people everyone knew were dangerous, but instead of removing them, the community developed workarounds:
| |
| | |
| * Don't let new women be alone with him
| |
| * Warn people privately at events
| |
| * Create buddy systems
| |
| * Just avoid him if you can
| |
| | |
| The metaphor has since been generalized to describe anyone whose repeated harmful behavior is tolerated and routed around rather than confronted.
| |
| | |
| == The Range of Harm ==
| |
| | |
| Missing stairs exist on a spectrum:
| |
| | |
| '''SEVERE HARM''' (original usage)
| |
| | |
| * Sexual harassment or assault
| |
| * Physical violence or threats
| |
| * Predatory behavior toward vulnerable people
| |
| * Targeted harassment campaigns
| |
| * Stalking
| |
| | |
| '''PERSISTENT HARM'''
| |
| | |
| * Bullying or intimidation patterns
| |
| * Discriminatory behavior
| |
| * Abuse of power or authority
| |
| * Weaponizing community processes
| |
| * Monopolizing resources/spaces to exclude others
| |
| | |
| '''CHRONIC DYSFUNCTION'''
| |
| | |
| * Repeated conflict escalation
| |
| * Inability to collaborate constructively
| |
| * Consistent boundary violations
| |
| * Draining disproportionate community resources
| |
| | |
| The severity varies, but the pattern is the same: the community routes around the person instead of addressing the harm.
| |
| | |
| == Why Routing Happens Instead of Fixing ==
| |
| | |
| '''FEAR OF CONSEQUENCES'''
| |
| | |
| * The person might retaliate
| |
| * The person might claim victimhood
| |
| * The confrontation could split the community
| |
| * Legal concerns (defamation, liability)
| |
| * The person is "useful" in other ways
| |
| | |
| '''DIFFUSION OF RESPONSIBILITY'''
| |
| | |
| No single person feels responsible for addressing it. Everyone assumes:
| |
| | |
| * Someone else will handle it
| |
| * Someone with more authority should act
| |
| * It's not bad enough for me to say something
| |
| * Other people seem okay with it
| |
| | |
| '''NORMALIZATION'''
| |
| | |
| The longer the routing continues:
| |
| | |
| * The behavior becomes "just how they are"
| |
| * New people learn the workarounds without questioning them
| |
| * The routing becomes invisible infrastructure
| |
| * Addressing it feels like making a big deal out of nothing
| |
| | |
| == The Cost of Social Routing ==
| |
| | |
| === BANDWIDTH EXHAUSTION ===
| |
| | |
| Every person who routes around the problem pays a cost:
| |
| | |
| * Remember who the problem person is
| |
| * Modify their own behavior around them
| |
| * Warn others (often repeatedly, as new people arrive)
| |
| * Absorb the extra friction and vigilance
| |
| * Manage their own feelings about the situation
| |
| * Question whether they're overreacting
| |
| | |
| This isn't one-time work. It's continuous, cumulative labor. Eventually people run out of capacity.
| |
| | |
| === PACKET LOSS ===
| |
| | |
| Some people can't or won't do the routing work. They just leave. The community loses:
| |
| | |
| * People who had the worst interactions (often those most vulnerable)
| |
| * Contributors who encountered the problem early and bounced
| |
| * People who came with energy and left depleted
| |
| * Those who care enough to be hurt by the dysfunction
| |
| | |
| Often these are exactly the people the community can't afford to lose. The missing stair acts as a filter, selecting against certain types of people - frequently those from marginalized groups the community claims to want.
| |
| | |
| === ROUTING OVERHEAD ===
| |
| | |
| The workarounds themselves become significant work:
| |
| | |
| * Buddy systems for events
| |
| * Informal warning networks that must be maintained
| |
| * Projects redesigned to exclude the person
| |
| * Event planning adjusted around their presence/absence
| |
| * Constant background vigilance
| |
| * Emotional labor of deciding who to warn and how
| |
| | |
| The community spends more energy managing the problem than it would take to address it directly.
| |
| | |
| === BANDWIDTH MONOPOLIZATION ===
| |
| | |
| One person consumes disproportionate resources:
| |
| | |
| * Leadership attention and time
| |
| * Conflict resolution energy
| |
| * Community discussion cycles
| |
| * Emotional labor from multiple people simultaneously
| |
| * Physical space (if they monopolize certain areas/tools)
| |
| | |
| Legitimate community work gets deprioritized. The missing stair becomes the organizing principle.
| |
| | |
| === ROUTING TABLE CORRUPTION ===
| |
| | |
| The informal warning system has failure modes:
| |
| | |
| * Not everyone gets warned (especially new people, marginalized people, people outside certain social circles)
| |
| * Warnings get softened ("they're just awkward" vs "they're predatory")
| |
| * Information gets lost as people leave
| |
| * The reasons for the warnings get forgotten over time
| |
| * People question whether the warnings are fair without the full context
| |
| | |
| === CENSORSHIP ENFORCEMENT ===
| |
| | |
| The self-censorship that created the routing becomes permanent:
| |
| | |
| * "We've tolerated this for years, why act now?"
| |
| * "Everyone knows how to handle them"
| |
| * "It works fine if you just avoid X/Y/Z"
| |
| * Direct naming of the problem becomes taboo
| |
| * New people learn that questioning the workarounds isn't done
| |
| | |
| The routing is now load-bearing. Removing it feels more dangerous than keeping it.
| |
| | |
| === SYSTEM CRASH ===
| |
| | |
| Eventually one of several things happens:
| |
| | |
| * Enough people leave that the community dies or fundamentally changes
| |
| * Someone burns out catastrophically trying to manage the situation
| |
| * The harmful person causes damage severe enough that it can't be routed around
| |
| * External pressure forces action (legal, financial, reputational)
| |
| * New leadership doesn't know/respect the routing and breaks the unspoken rules
| |
| | |
| At this point the community must either address the damage directly or accept permanent dysfunction.
| |
| | |
| == Recognition: Signs of a Missing Stair ==
| |
| | |
| === COMMUNITY-LEVEL INDICATORS ===
| |
| | |
| * Private warning networks exist ("don't work alone with X")
| |
| * People use careful language around certain topics/people
| |
| * Attendance patterns shift when the person is/isn't present
| |
| * Certain spaces or activities become de facto off-limits to some
| |
| * Newcomers receive warnings without context
| |
| * Long-term members have elaborate strategies for "managing" the person
| |
| * Good contributors quietly stop participating
| |
| * The community can describe the problem in detail but won't act on it
| |
| | |
| === INDIVIDUAL-LEVEL INDICATORS ===
| |
| | |
| You might be witnessing a missing stair if you:
| |
| | |
| * Receive vague warnings about someone ("just be careful around them")
| |
| * Notice people avoiding certain situations involving this person
| |
| * Hear multiple similar stories from different people
| |
| * Feel gaslit when the person's public persona doesn't match private warnings
| |
| * See elaborate social choreography around the person
| |
| * Notice your gut reaction is being explained away by others or yourself
| |
| | |
| === SEVERE HARM INDICATORS ===
| |
| | |
| Some specific signs that require immediate action:
| |
| | |
| * Pattern of people from marginalized groups leaving after interactions with this person
| |
| * Multiple reports of sexual harassment/assault
| |
| * Threats or intimidation
| |
| * Behavior that would be criminal outside the community context
| |
| * Targeting of vulnerable/new community members
| |