User:SeanDeluge

On June 1st I watch as a paid member walked into the space made a left turn to the library and pointed to 3 people with backpacks and tell them; “you're out, you're out, you're out. Time to go he said. I turned to him and asked him why because I hadn't seen them being disruptive or under the influence or even sleeping there. As far as I knew they had just arrived and were talking about getting something going in Noisebridge like learning to code or learn circuit building. I was never given any explanation but was told “you're out too, pack up your things time to leave, don't come back until the meeting. Again I asked why. I was told I spend too much time at Noisebridge and all I do it watch Youtube, facebook and play video games and that Noisebridge wasn't created for that, it's not a Internet Cafe. I agreed I did play some video games albeit only for short periods of time when I get burned out working on 3D mesh for my project with Unity or music creation which I had just spent nearly 3 hours on that morning. He told me to show him but when I opened up Unity to show him the work I had done he didn't even bother to look and said it's nothing, doesn't count it's not coding. I tried to show him the work on my music project and he said Noisebridge is not for music projects, that it's for coding so why wasn't I learning python and coding. I told him I have little interest in coding except for what I needed for my unity project and would learn what I need as I progressed. "Not good enough" he said, I was told time to leave. I said this was harassment and not being excellent and he should go also until the meeting. As I started to pack my things to go he laughed and slapped me hard on the shoulder. I asked him to not touch me. He said what like this and slapped me on the back. I said it's my body and if I don't want him touching me I shouldn't be touched. Again he slapped me on my shoulder hard and gripped it saying it's his space and he can do as he wanted that I still needed to leave. I pointed out I was packing up and he slapped me hard again on the back saying “Good!” don't come back until the meeting. I again told him not to touch me and again he grabbed my shoulder hard "be a man" he said. I felt violated and threatened, that this was his way of pointing out that if I did not leave I would get beaten up. I felt this assault was the true representation of what many of the paid Noisebridge members would like to do to those of us who are disabled, homeless or poor. After leaving I was so shaken by this assault that if I didn't do something to protect myself that the next time I saw him he would kick my ass. I called the police asking what I should do and if it was considered an assault. I was told yes this was considered an assault by all legal standards and they would send an officer down to talk with us. After I had called the police Leif and Zac(not sure of his name) came down (Leif had talked to me right after I had called and told him I had called) and asked if I really called. I said yes I did so they decided it was best not to be there when the police came so they went to a place across the street, I was told the name but didn't hear it right. The police did come and asked me what I wanted them to do, if I'd like them to talk to Zac or arrest him for assault. I said they should talk to him so at least he knew what he did was wrong. I don't know if they had found Zac or not, I tried to call Lief but only the message thing came up. I have not been inside Noisebridge since and will be at the next meeting.

What is Noisebridge to me?

When I found out about Noisebridge I imagined a place where people looked at the world and thought of ways to use technology to make the world a better place to live in. I imagined a group of people sitting down together and discussing ways they could use hardware and software to help people learn to address their own weaknesses and strengths making it possible for everyone to improve themselves and by doing so improving the world. I believed that Noisebridge was a shining example of the right path to head down. I believed by being there I would be able to share my ideas on how combat selfishness, insecurity, greed and ignorance. I was told Noisebridge was about respecting others and treating each other excellently regardless of what possessions they had in life. What I found was exclusivity, classicism, rumor mongering, accusations and elitism.I also saw drug abuse, drunkenness and laziness. I watched in disbelief as people where harassed and badgered for not working on a project that involved coding or circuit building for being there and not fitting the strict values of ether coding or learning to code. I watched these people who had actually were there to learn and hadn't gotten started or where taking a break getting bullied and pressured to leave. I watched as people were told to go just because they had backpacks on without even asking what they might like to learn or do while they were at Noisebridge. I spoke up and asked why? I was told Noisebridge is for coder and hackers only. I was told it was not a place for the homeless or those who where mentally disabled (mentally ill). That it was not a social service. Then I started getting this harassment. I was told I was there too much. That some anonymous others thought it was my living room and didn't want to be there in my living room. I have never felt like it was my living room nor have I ever slept there and have only occasionally even cooked there always cleaning up after myself. I can't control others or their thoughts and telling me this the teller is assured no proof be needed to support his accusations. I felt stupid that I wasn't interested in coding or circuit hacking the way others said I needed to be just to be there, that my interests of making new kinds of music and video games that used a hidden reward system to teach people that were resistant to normal methods of teaching or building 3D meshes and learning basics of game code where not the purpose of Noisebridge. I started to wonder if Noisebridge wasn't for education as it's charter says it is but for a private club of select hackers and coders. That it was not paid for by people thinking it was there as an free educational place where people could learn at their own rate not pressured to complete tasks. I felt maybe I was too old or too stupid or maybe my views were not valid. I felt like it was the views of some of it's members that only success by their standards was wanted at Noisebridge and that all else was a drain on their private resource . I wondered what kind of Noisebridge it was where those who where “qualified” to be there would be the only ones allowed in. It seemed to me that the real resource of Noisebridge, was it's ability to take in all kinds of people and that it would be the kind of place where the ones that looked like they needed the most help would be welcome there and embraced by people with skill who would be willing to help out and help motivate. I have seen this in a few member and that's Noisebridge's saving grave. I have seen angry members telling how they didn't need help and that people should get it together and do what it takes on their own as they had. I feel that those who know how would come to show how and not just look down at those who don't fit their values, sneering and thinking it's a good place for themselves but not for those homeless lazy drug using bums. I feel it's those members of the Elite Hackers Society who probably don't need Noisebridge as much as they think they do and probably some have moved on or are just too busy to be able to spend time there. The the real purpose of Noisebridge is to change lies in to lives, to allow people to find those doors they can on their own terms and to give opportunity where none was before no matter how long or how slow someone is getting there they at least getting there eventually which is better than not at all.

My feelings and experiences on this are that when people feel fearful at the loss of control over what they feel belongs to them they will find excuses and reasons even if they have to grab at straws to boaster their reasoning and not the other way around. This is human nature at it's worst. It is as common as breathing to look around and hate what you can not control that doesn't fit in your world, that needs to be changed and to try and change it by any means. It's has caused wars, genocide and murder so it's not a stretch to see it cause people to be ostracize from Noisebridge. I believe some of the members (but not all or even the majority) feel they have entitlement and privilege to say who and who does not belong. They will find a reason no matter how vague or insignificant it is and some are even willing to use threats of violence to get that point across.

What kind of solutions can be made to fix this you might ask? My answer is fix it so everyone who wants to be a member can be a member. When people become members they vested in it's success and feel they are a part of something. Making it hard to join gives people the feeling they are invalid and only barely tolerated. As it is now it's hard to get even one person to sponsor a new member. Even if someone gets sponsored and is there for 4 weeks of meetings and they better not be seen by even one member as unworthy of membership or their membership will get blocked. Most of the people that are at Noisebridge are not members and of those I've talked to have said it's not a big deal. I feel it is a big deal, that this exclusionary practice is not excellent nor does it create an open community but will and has created a slow downward spiral to elitism and feeling of entitlement and exclusivity. Give everyone who wants membership a chance, make it easy to join as a paid member and then make blocking harder to do by requiring two or more people to block and only if they have viable reasoning. By having two or more people to block with a valid reason is by far the better way of consensus and that it creates more discussion and communication than just allowing one person to block for any reason valid or not. What does it mean to be a valid reason? It means the blocker needs a second or more people to discuss their reasons and have them agree. Also valid has to be about what is being blocked and not some vague off subject or feeling. This practice of 2nding a motion (in this case to block) or approve as it is has been in practice for hundreds of years and is one of the best ideas in politics. I am told the reason membership is so hard to get is because they fear people will block just because they can and will do it to troll and piss off others. The idea of having a 2nd to block then takes this tactic off the table. So if there is a motion for consensus and someone blocks they can get a week or even two to find a second and form a viable alternative motion or complete block based on logic and reasoning. I'm told Noisebridge is Anarchistic though I have never seen it mentioned in any official form. I don't believe we need leaders, I believe we are all capable of reasoning and discussion. That people as a group can make a community without overloads. Noisebridge is on a fine edge that can go either way. Into exclusivity and elitism or open community where everyone is valued but only the members as intelligent unfearful adults can now make that choice. I can only watch and see.

Sean (Dan) Deluge 06/02/13